Saturday, January 30, 2010

Signs Your Boyfriend is Going to Propose - How to Know If He's Ready to Pop the Question

As women we have this amazing inner instinct when it comes to the man in our lives. We can generally tell when something is bothering him, when he's hiding something and when he can't contain his excitement. The one area that many women just aren't sure of is whether or not their boyfriend is on the same page as they are regarding getting married. Although you and he may have talked about taking that next step, unless there's a ring on your finger, you can never be sure he's actually ready to walk down the aisle. There are actually some signs your boyfriend is going to propose that will give you a glimpse into what's in store for your future with him.

One of the most obvious signs your boyfriend is going to propose is he'll be busy planning your life together. This typically includes things like talking about whether you two should be buying a home together or how much money he needs to be investing in his retirement plan. His mind is focused squarely on the future and each time he brings it up he includes you in it. If he looks to you for your opinion more and more on really important matters that deal with his future plans, he considers you his life partner already.

Another sign that he's about to pop the big question is you'll have recently spent more and more time with his friends and family. Men like to see how their future wife fits in with all the really important people in their lives. He wants to ensure that his parents approve of you and that you can hang out with and have fun with his friends. If he makes excuses for why you can't accompany him to family celebrations or if you don't know any of his friends very well, that's not a promising sign and you may have to wait a while yet before you'll get a marriage proposal.

A man on the verge of proposing will also give it away through his body language. He may stare more longingly into your eyes when you two are together or he'll hold your hand a bit longer than he usually does. He's doing this because he feels closer to you than he ever has before. Men who are just about to pop the question are often just as overwhelmed with emotion as the woman on the receiving end of the proposal.

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Friday, January 22, 2010

Starting Over to Win Your Lover Back and Relieve Your Heartache

Have you been carrying a torch for your ex lover and trying to win them back to no avail? It is time to start over to win your ex lover back. There are ways that you can overcome a relationship breakup to win your lover back to you, but you have to be observant and make sure that you do not overstep your bounds in your quest to get him or her back.

The first thing that you have to ask yourself is why the two of you broke up at all. Was it another woman or man who stepped in? In many cases, one of the parties got mad at the other over an imagined affair. In many cases, the couple had a fight that escalated into something that turned into a break up. In such cases, there is a good chance that the couple can get back together. You have a high percentage of getting back with your ex back if you broke up over a misunderstanding or a fight.

If you broke up over another individual, you can still win your ex back but it may take longer and the tactics are different. Before you can start out, you have to have a clear understanding as to why the two of you broke up in the first place.

Your ex lover has to have had some sort of feelings for you if you are to be successful at winning them back. If your ex lover is someone who never really cared for you and who you built up a relationship with in your mind, you will not be successful at winning them back because they were never really with you to begin with. You have to have had a solid relationship with your ex lover in order to entertain any hopes of winning him or her back to you.

The first step you have to do is to forget the past and start over. To win your lover back, you are going to have to be willing to forget any problems that you might have had in the past and move on. This includes past grudges or fights.

The second step is to contact your ex lover and tell them that you miss them and ask them if they want to meet for coffee or a drink so the two of you can talk. Many people find this extremely difficult to do because they do not want to take a chance of being rejected. But you are better off to do this than to try any other move when you are trying to win your ex lover back.

When you meet with your ex lover, you have to be willing to start over Tell them that you would like to start the relationship fresh again, as if the two of you never went out at all. This can be difficult, but it will give you a good starting base in your new relationship. Get rid of all the skeletons in the closet before starting out again. You are going to have to let bygones be bygones if you are going to win your lover back to you.

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Get Your Ex Back - 3 Critical Points to Consider Or Risk Blowing it All

Ending a relationship badly can rip right through your core. You just want to rush right in to get him back. Especially when you think everything was OK, and you didn't see it coming. Or you just find the explanation totally unbelievable.

Especially for women, losing the "we", i.e., "he" we belong to can be devastating. We tend to think it's all our fault which is another way of saying it's all about us. We lose our center and our self-confidence.

All types of emotions roar to the surface. Our family and friends may not even recognize us. We may not even recognize ourselves.

As angry as you may be, somehow or other you have to take a step back and see things from a higher point of view. Regaining your composure is a priority.

As hurt as you may be, you must find a way to distance yourself from those painful feelings to maintain your balance.

As panicked as you may be, you must know you are strong enough to survive this. You must believe you will thrive after this.

How do you do this? Postponing communication with your ex at this time offers the best chance of getting him back in the future.

Even if you fervently believe the two of you should be together at least one person does not believe it at this time. Before your hope can transform into reality, you'll have to get down to work.

This work has a plan and a foundation.

1: The foundation of your program is giving yourself a break. Not the type of break where you don't show up for work so often that you lose your job. Or you start frantically partying, in any way you imagine. The wrong way can have negative consequences lasting for years. It will merely prolong the pain. And you will not get your ex back this way.

You must resist contacting your ex at this time. You have to get in touch with yourself before you get back with your ex.

2: You have to start taking care of yourself. Not by hanging out at home vegetating. You need to take action on anything but your break up. You need the distance from your ex to resolve your own issues.

Go out with friends to have fun. Of course good friends will support you during this difficult time, however show real interest in their lives as well. Do the things you like to do even if you don't have a current partner.

3: Getting involved in some useful activity with a measurable goal helps you redefine yourself. Even small incremental successes boost your self-image. You then feel confident about your decisions. You become more free to acknowledge what or who you really want in life.

The old tried and true advice still holds true. Get engaged with an activity outside yourself. Develop a hobby or take a course to improve your career prospects. Even volunteer for an organization whose work you respect.

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4 Surefire Ways to Stop Your Breakup and Get Your Ex Back Today

If you are going through a breakup or suspect that one is about to happen, you may be experiencing a painful, gut twisting, heart wrenching sickness that you just can’t seem to get away from. Don’t despair, you can stop your breakup and get your ex back, even if you are about to give up.

Your situation may seem hopeless now and you may have a feeling that you will never be happy again, that the best thing in your life is gone, or about to be with someone else right now. You wonder if your lover is doing things that make your heart shudder.

The last thing you want to do is to lose your lover or spouse. You committed to them in your heart , mind and soul and now something is so wrong. You want to stop your breakup or get your ex back.

I am here to tell you that you can stop the breakup and get your ex back, IF, you take action today, and stop acting like a wimp. ( No one, man or woman wants a whiny, begging, or threatening, cry baby)

Let’s identify the cause and stop your breakup today !

Here’s some common symptoms of an impending breakup. If your breakup has already occurred, did you experience any of this?

You fear the worse and may be right in your suspicions if you are seeing, feeling or hearing any of the following:

• Your lover seems to be placing distance between you in verbal and /or physical contact.

• He or she doesn’t tell you where they are going, doesn’t answer cell phone calls, doesn’t call back for hours or longer, then is vague about what they were doing.

• You try to talk about the future and your lover changes the subject to a benign impersonal one

• Your plans to go for a picnic are suddenly cancelled because your lover has to “ do a few things around the house”, visit their mother, or the old “wash their hair bit”

• Your lover seems always to be in a bad mood, grouchy and maybe even argumentative.

• No matter how hard you try to be good to your lover, you get put down, criticized or derided.

Recognize any of the above? OK, let’s get to work and fix it right now. You can stop your breakup or get your ex back.

There is a chemistry in every love relationship. When you first met your lover, you presented a desirable, lovable force that she or he just had to be with.

Romance bloomed, the skies were clear, the sun was in the sky and you fell madly in love.

Then, just as seasons change, so did you and your lover. With the change of seasons, a cold wind came over the relationship. And instead of warming your lover’s heart, you failed to turn up the heat in just the right way. As a result, your lover, consciously or unconsciously began to withdraw from you, looking for warmth elsewhere,
This can be a very subtle process that neither recognizes for awhile until seemingly too late.

What you need to do is get back inside your lover’s head, and show them through actions, words and behavior that you are the true source of warmth and satisfaction and that the ‘ love furnace’ has been fixed.

This will NEVER occur if you beg, whine, cry, call , email fax, show up at his/her door, talk to all of his friends, his mom, her dad, the mailman etc. No one wants a loser !

Your lover would not have been with you in the first place if you didn’t have the goods.

• Show your lover that you are a strong and valuable individual by going on with your life. Go out with friends,

• Be seen in public places having a good time. Stop all contact and let your lover start to wonder what you are up to and why he is missing out on such a good thing.

• Go out on a date and be seen. Just a light and fun time. You don’t want to hurt anyone else. But jealousy is a powerful tool. Let your lover’s friends see you, but don’t make a deal of it. Just a casual hi, that’s enough to get the cell phones whirring and your ex wondering

• People always want what they don’t or can’t have. By being strong, you will retake control of the relationship to the extent that your lover will soon start pursuing you and begging you to come back

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4 "Do Not's" of Getting Your Ex Back

When your partner breaks up with you, it's easy to go into panic mode. Desperate not to lose your ex for good, you can sometimes freak out and do things that seem like the right idea at the time but you quickly learn will cost you a lot...perhaps even your whole shot at getting your ex back at all!

Here's a brief list of the 4 biggest "Reconciliation Oopses:"

  • Don't shower your ex with attention. It may seem like it's your only chance when you're desperate to make your ex understand how much you care, but it's Number One on the Do Not Do list. For you to have any chance at all, your ex will need some time to miss you and YOU will need some time to formulate a game plan for getting him or her back. Trust me on this, give it about a month where you don't talk at all, unless circumstances make it flat-out rude not to.
  • Don't panic if you find out your ex is with other people. 90% of rebound relationships don't last, and in all honesty you should be up and out there sampling from the dating pool as well. It's actually a good thing that your ex is dating again, it'll give him or her a chance to remember just how great it was being with you. The good times will become more idealized and the bad ones will seem less important. This is great for actually helping your ex to miss you, and therefore want you back.
  • Don't let life pass you by as you wilt from the depression and breakup pain. Your ex is probably out there trying to move on, why shouldn't you be? Staying active and being social is a great way to speed up the emotional healing, and even if all you're doing is putting on a happy face and forcing a good time it still counts. Soon, the pain will start to fade and you'll be able to think clearly...not to mention if your ex happens to hear about "how well you're doing without him (her)," it'll spark new interest as well.
  • Don't lie to yourself and tell yourself things like "I'll never find another person like my ex" or "My ex was my one true shot at happiness." Just statistically speaking, that's absolute nonsense. There are lots of other people in the world, and more than one is capable of understanding you and making you happy. In fact, considering you two broke up, there's probably somebody out there somewhere a lot better for you than your ex. I'm not saying you shouldn't try to win back your ex if that's what you want to do, but you shouldn't fool yourself into believing that if it doesn't work out your life is over.

I'm not saying this is all you'll ever need to know about avoiding critical mistakes when trying to get your ex back, or just about getting your ex back in general, but this is a great start for you to develop the right mindset. Although sometimes a bit counter-intuitive, the process of healing your breakup pain and getting your ex back can be relatively simple if you just know what to do and what not to do.

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I Love My Ex Boyfriend - The Most Important First Step to Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

As I write this piece I am reminded of days past....

Days when I was feeling the same feelings that you're feeling now. Prior to meeting my current husband I had several ex boyfriends that I thought I was madly in love with.

It turned out that none where true love, they where just infatuation on my part not real love. In your case maybe it's different however you will never find out if you don't eventually make a move toward him.

Believe me when I tell you...It's the not knowing that is the worst part. It is all about closure. We cannot move on until we gain closure in any situation, love is no different. We all have a natural process we follow in terms of our emotions; there are different phases we must go through in order to achieve our final "acceptance" of a situation...

If it turns out that you're ex boyfriend loves you as much as you love him then perhaps you'll have a real future together, one that is full of love and friendship. If it turns out that you're not truly in love with your ex boyfriend then you'll find that out as well and ultimately get some closure allowing you to move on totally free from these emotions that your feeling right now.

I really hope that you and the ex boyfriend that you love where meant to be together and you end up living happily ever after with him. It never occurs to most but in order for you to have any real shot at getting back together or even having a legitimate opportunity to speak with your ex boyfriend you must take a critical first step.

You must fast forward the "acceptance" part, this is critical. If you don't accept, then you will always come across as needy and desperate.

If you can find a way to let your ex boyfriend know that you have accepted and that you agree with the breakup then you will have a real shot at getting your ex boyfriend to respond favorably. This concept goes against logic I know but it works, it really works....

This doesn't have to be verbal, it can certainly be written however it needs to be delivered somehow and read by him. I you had a bad breakup then you may have to be a little sneaky here, but it is imperative that you make this first move if you really feel that you love you're ex boyfriend and want another shot at making the relationship work....

I know that this may sound hard to believe but there are magic words you can use to get what you want especially if it is a return phone call that you're after.

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10 Most Common Mistakes You May Be Making Right After Your Break Up

If the truth be know, we are all subject to making mistakes in the beginning of a break up. As a matter of fact this is when most people make their biggest mistakes. During those first few weeks is when we are very emotional and this is when things get said that you regret later on. It is emotionally very difficult for you to be objective at this time but if you want even a chance to get your ex back you must stop making the same mistakes over and over.

Here are 10 of the most common mistakes people make right after a break up:

1. Calling TOO soon after the break up.

2. Professing your undying love over and over and over.

3. Telling your ex they are making a huge mistake.

4. Forcing your ex to communicate with you through email, text or by phone.

5. Telling your ex how depressed, sad or lonely you have been since the break up.

6. Then if you do happen to get their attention, bringing up the break up and past arguments and squabbles.

7. Apologizing over and over and over again.

8. Begging them to give you another chance.

9. Not accepting the reason they give you for the break up.

10. Getting angry when they do not do what you want.

Are you making some or maybe ALL of these mistakes?

Finally the biggest mistake you can make is to try and get your ex back without a plan and by yourself.

I know from my own experience. I did not have a clue as to were to even start to win my ex back and I kept making the same mistakes over and over. Then I came across this website with this guy that called himself T. Dub. This guy really knows his stuff. He has helped hundreds of others, so I know his techniques will work for you too.

The truth is, there are certain techniques that ANYONE can use to have an almost unfair advantage when it comes to regaining the love of their ex partner.

He even has as recipe that he calls "The Fast Forward" technique to help you start feeling better and more rational right away, and he can easily help you regain your lost love one from there.

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Break Up Mistakes and How to Fix Them

Break Up Mistakes can completely ruin your chances of getting back together with your ex. Be careful with what you do and say while your emotions are running hot. Avoid the common break up mistakes by identifying them first and then learning alternative behavior and coping strategies.

GET OFF HIS BACK

This means that you do not argue, beg, plead or engage with him in any way. Don't ask him to explain WHY he is leaving. Don't try to reason or work out the issue - this is the number one break up mistakes that people make. Nothing can be resolved in the initial post breakup stage. Get off his case and leave him to work it out for himself.

GET OUT OF HIS WAY

Stay away from places that you know he will be at. Avoid contact as much as possible and definitely do not engage with any of his friends, family or coworkers. As much as you want to show him how well you are doing - this will backfire. People can feel when someone has shifted away, and this is your goal at the moment.

GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE

Reconnect with your friends, get out as much as possible and expand on your social circle. Yes this also means that you start dating again. There is nothing wrong with it and it doesn't have to lead to anything serious. It is just about you regaining your confidence and dignity. You need to all the things that will rebuild your self esteem, so that you are in a stronger bargaining position when he does come back to you - and he will.

DON'T TALK OR ANALYZE

Another one of the major break up mistakes. Guys see this as pressure. You will never be able to talk him into wanting you back. The hook will come from an emotional and psychological level - not through words, arguing and convincing, but from him realizing that he not only WANTS you but NEEDS to have you back. Words appeal to the logic. What you are aiming for is his emotions - and the less words the better.

DON'T BE AVAILABLE

When you first break up he will also be feeling insecure and vulnerable. He will instinctively want to know that you are still there for his, should he choose to come back. Make sure that you act in a way that demonstrates that you are no longer available. Be brief if he calls, don't engage in text messaging with him and definitely do NOT sleep with him.

DON'T PUSH TOO HARD

He needs to be the one that comes back to you. Don't try and resolve anything or ask for answers. Don't even suggest the possibility of a reconciliation ever taking place. Remember, this is going to be HIS move not your, and the only way it can happen is if you avoid the common break up mistakes.

You need to give him the time and space to miss you so that he can initiate the contact and inevitable reconciliation. He will feel compelled to come back to you only when he feels like he is compelled to do so and that comes from you letting go completely.

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Love Guide - Bulletproof Your Relationship Against 7 Fatal Mistakes With 7 Secrets of Lasting Love

How secure is your relationship? Could you be riding into the sunset with your mate, unaware that they are ready to change course? Don't be blindsided by a break up. Learn how to bullet proof your relationship against 7 mistakes that cause most break ups. Then go use 7 secrets of lasting love to spark up your relationship.

Here Are The Top 7 Mistakes That Cause Most Break Ups And What To Do Instead:

Mistake 1. Abuse, affairs and workaholism are tied as the top causes of break ups and divorce.

There is an addictive quality in each behavior that steals focus, power and trust from your intimate relationship.
Unattended hurts and unmet emotional needs often prompt these addictive behaviors.

What to do instead:

To start the recovery process, seek counseling or a 12 step program to treat your addiction before you can repair the damage and rebuild trust in your relationship.

Mistake 2. Settling into relationship ruts

Do you have strong beliefs of how you and your mate should behave? Your "Shoulds" can put you in a cage.

Do you go out to the same places, eat the same foods, tell the same stories, make love the same way?
Predictability can bring on the boredom. If you're feeling bored, it means you are making boring choices.

What to do instead:

Keep your relationship exciting.
Stop "Shoulding" each other today.
Add a sense of fun and play in your daily interactions.
Start dating your mate again.
Plan new outings, eat in different restaurants, listen to new music.
Ask new questions and discover new things about each other.
Think of a surprise that you can spring once a week.
Find new ways to add a feeling of magic and enchantment to your intimate moments and daily routine. You will feel like you're in a new relationship.

Mistake 3. Doing more talking than listening

Controlling the conversation, complaining, commanding or constantly updating your wants, needs, desires, life stories is a one-way conversation that will drain the fun and life out of any relationship. It's also a sign of being rigid and uncompromising, which may cause a loss of respect and a loss of attraction.

What to do instead:

Listening is an act of love. Tell your partner that you want to break your habit of dominating the conversation. You want to find out their needs, wants, desires and find ways to satisfy them. Your loving listening will help you start fresh and spark up your relationship so it feels new.

Mistake 4. Showing little appreciation or support for your mate

You may be so focused on your duties, deadlines or demands that you are too busy to pay attention or spend time with your mate. What you focus on grows. Are you growing your career or outside pursuits and letting your relationship whither and die? If you don't believe in changing focus at this dangerous crossroads, then you must believe in break ups and divorce.

What to do instead:

Balance your focus and begin to show your support and appreciation for your mate.
Tell your beloved that you want to improve your relationship.
Make sure your behavior matches your words so you can rebuild faith and trust.
Be kind and gentle with quirks or mood swings.
Be aware of the little things that make your partner happy and do them.
Find new ways to enjoy time together and explore common interests or new hobbies
Plan an activity that you each look forward to each week
Avoid criticism and comment on your mate's positive qualities and personal growth as a way to promote more growth and good feelings.

Mistake 5. Crossing boundaries or not setting healthy boundaries

Are you investing more emotional energy in bonding with an attractive co-worker than with your mate? You are having an emotional affair. Are you tolerating this destructive behavior in your mate? You are an enabler. When you pursue or enable a harmful, distracting, or abusive behavior, you are not supporting the good health and well being of your mate, yourself or your relationship.

What to do instead:

Recognize the need for healthy boundaries to protect and preserve your primary intimate relationship. Make a mutual commitment to set new boundaries or stop crossing the old ones.

Apologize for your role in past breaches of boundaries. This is a four part process:

1. Express your regret.
2. Acknowledge the harm that was done
3. Commit that you will avoid repeating harmful behavior
4. Honor your commitment

Mistake 6. Letting the flame die out

You may feel the chemistry is flat in your relationship, yet you don't do anything to revive it. You may have tried, but your partner wasn't responsive or they rejected your suggestions. So you give up and leave your intimate connection for dead without doing couples CPR.

What to do instead:

Revive the heartbeat of your relationship through Couples CPR by improving 3 relationship skills:

1. Communication:

Speak from your heart as to how your lack of passion and intimacy makes you feel.

Ask for your mate's feelings and reactions. Start a dialogue that cultivates growth as a couple.

2. Personal Growth:

The endorphins of romance, what I call Cupid's Cocktails, may spark your chemistry and cloud your view of reality at the start of your relationship. If the initial rush of pleasure goes flat in time, you may wonder what's left to keep you together.

You can revive your mutual interest and spark up your chemistry by:
exploring common values, interests and hobbies
sharing more laughter - an endearing aphrodisiac
setting new goals and setting out on new adventures as a team

3. Resilience:

You can bounce back from relationship doldrums or despair. In physics, the dominant vibrations wins. You change the vibration of thoughts, feelings and actions the same way you change the show you are watching on TV-- by flipping the channel.

Will you tune into a cold horror flick or a romantic love story?

Choose the channel. You can be resilient and rise above any negative behavior by consistently flipping the switch to a better behavior. You may become a fan of the new behavior and make it a habit.

Mistake 7. Depending on your mate to make you happy

You don't have a life outside of your relationship. You're just living your life, waiting for your mate to fulfill your needs or add excitement to your life.

What to do instead.

Don't just live your life. Love your life. And fall in love again with yourself. I tell my online community how to do this by following the 5 Rs:

Revive your dreams and take action on them everyday.
Rev up your good qualities. As you strengthen your strengths, any weakness seems less important.
Recharge your health in safe and wholesome ways.
Remember the love in your past and forget your sad old stories or expectations.
Remain optimistic. Expect good things to happen and make better choices for your greater happiness, health and fulfillment.

Your healthy self love and optimism are love magnets that may be irresistible to your mate.

Will you avoid the top 7 mistakes that cause most break ups? Will you make better choices that bring out the best in you and your mate?

If you do so, you will bullet proof your relationship with lasting love. You will feel delighted by renewed chemistry, communication, kindness and commitment as you and your mate ride into the sunset together!

And if you'd like to see how author Hadley Finch and her savvy friends bring out the best in each other and create healthy relationships, you may follow their romantic adventures in the novel, TRIBE OF BLONDES.

Not a hair color, it's a resilient hopeful spirit that unites us and fuels our passionate choices and personal triumphs.

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